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nagedtolivebythesaleofso
trinketsaynfinent,thefeainedto
ylaundress,soihadtogototheteityhospitalthechild,yourson,ofongthevery
poor,theoutcast,andtheabandonedithingwasstrange,ooneanother,ashereinour
loneliness,filledutualhatred,thrusttogetheronlybyourkinshipofpovertyanddistressintothiscroandblood,
filledoaningapatientinthesey,
exceptsuchasreinsinthenaattheheadoftheclinicalrerdliesinthebedisrelyapieceofquiveringflesh,anobjectofstudyiaskyourforgivenessforspeakingofthesethingsishallneverspeakofthegainforelevenyearsihavekeptsilenbforeverreonce,atleast,ihadtocryaloud,toletyouknoydelight,andwhonowliesdeadihad
forgottenthosedreadfulhours,forgottenthenhisslesandhisvoice,forgottenthenhappinessnoenthase
tolifeagain;andihad,thisonce,togiveitutterancebutidonotaccuseyou;onlygod,onlygodheauthorofsuchpurposelessafflictionneverhaveiostagonyofgiving
birthdidifeelanyresentntagainstyou;neverdidirepentthenightswhenienjoyedyourlove;neverdidiceasetoloveyou,ortoblessthehourwhenyoucaintolifee,fullyaing,to
relivethattiinhell,ianytis
ourboydiedyesterday,andyouneverknehisbrightlittlepersonalityhasnevereintothestfugitiventacthyou,andyoureyeshaveneverrestedonhiforalongtiafteroursonselfhiddenfrooulongingforyouhadbeelessoverpoweringindeed,ibelieveilovedyoulesspassionatelycertainly,loveforyoudidnothurtsoch,noyself
bet,andsoididnotgiveselftoyou,whowerehappyandindependentof,buttotheboye,ihadtonourish,iuldkissandfondleiseedtohavebeenhealedofrestlessyeaingforyouthedooeedtohavebeenliftedfroebythebirthofthisotheryou,yoyfeelingsreachout
tohingonlyonyourbirthdayihavealways
sentyouabunchofeafterourfirstnight
oflovehasiteveroccurredtoyou,duringthesetenorelevenyears,toaskyourselfhaveyoueverrecalledhavinggivensuchrosestoagirlidonotknoeit
toyououtofthedarkness;enough,onyoeryof
thathour
youneverkneeselftodayforhavinghiddenhibr >froou,foryouyouhaveneverseenhilewhen
hefirstopenedhiseyesaftersleep,hisdarkeyesthatheeyeserrilyforthatandthe,so
lovableallyourlightheartedness,andyourbileiginationwerehislikeinselvesinachild
herancedhoursplayinghthingsasyouplayhlife;andthen,grolongoverhisbookshehe
nglingofsportandeaest,ing
plaininhiandtherehereseledyou,thereilovedhihewasgoodathislessons,sothatheuldchatterfrenchlikeagpiehisexercisebooksanhe
totheseasideinthesuer,atgrado,enusedto
stopandstrokehisfairhairatseering,oboganing,peoplehee,sogentle,so
appealing
lastyear,tollegeasaboarder,hebegantohe
llegiatesuniforfaneighteenthcenturypage,halittledaggerstuckinhisbeltno,hpallidlipsandcrossedhands
youanagetogivetheboysostlyan
upbringing,hoetoprovideforhinentryintothisbrightand
thedarknessunashad,iisoldselfi
didnotbeeastreetnprostitute,butisoldselffriends,lovers,enatfirstisoughttheut,butsoontheysought,forianeveryoo
igaveselfetheyallbecagratefuladrers
theyalllovedexceptyou,exceptyouiloved
enosureyou
iknoandeverything,andthati
didherself,foryourboyinthelyingin
hospitalihadtastedthefullhorrorofpovertyiknehat,inthehepoor,thosesiuldnotbearto
thinkthatyourson,yourlovelyboy,idthe
rruptionsofthestreet,inthepoisonedairofasluhisdelicatelipsstnotleathespeechofthegutter;hisfine,ustnotbechafedbytheharshandsordidunderusthavethebestof
everything,alltheust
folloustdhesphereinhyouhad
lived
thatisyselfite,forare
nventionallyterd“honour”and“disgrace”eaningeyoubodyuldbelong,andyoudidnotlove
,soatterpanionscaresses,
eventheirstardentpassion,neversoundeddepths,althoughnyoftheown
fatedesyathiseintheirunrequitedloveallthesene;theyallpettedandspoiled;theyallpaideverydeferen,aanoftitle,usedhisutst
influeninationtothellegethisnloved
like
